I am at the point now where I think I might be able to slowly begin reading some of the posts from blogs I have sent to my email. I decided to start at the oldest email so I didn’t miss some tidbit of news from any missionaries or prior posts in a series that I need to read in order to fully understand something. The oldest one is from May 2014. I just read one that addresses what I wrote earlier in the day – and no surprise it is from Two Rivers (Bread of Life). If that’s not a reply to me admitting my unbalanced priorities and what feels like a desire just out of reach, I don’t know what is. Thank you, Lord for speaking through Beejai and having me read the message at just the right moment.
(Edit after posting…) And this (Sheri Rose Shepherd “His Princess Every Day” Post)! Lord, help me get out of your way! Set my priorities straight!
Lord, I feel you with me and I hear you calling me. Help me to consistently, consciously spend quality time with you every day like I used to. Help me to bring you everywhere. Even though I am in my own country, within a few hours of family (biological and Christ family) I feel like this must be what a missionary goes through the first year or so. A missionary who is in a country where I’m not allowed to think about you. I know you have me in this area where Christians are few and far between for a reason. I can see the impact I’m having on some of the kids who have such hard lives – and those who don’t. I wish I could do more than just bring you to work – which I don’t ask you to do every day like I should. I wish I could tell them about you and relate their lives, hardships, successes, how they treat each other, and how they treat themselves to you. Please shine through me even when I am tired, discouraged, whatever. I know I will make mistakes. Let me be your example of grace, love, and forgiveness to those I am with every day because I know at home a lot of these kids only dream of such things.