Resolution

I stumbled across my reflections from The Resolution for Women. Looking forward to working on this again! I am including this because it has been an important and enjoyable (though painful at times) part of my journey.

(By the way, for ease of thinking and writing I admit that some of what I am presenting is considered plagiarism from The Resolution for Women. So, just be aware that all of this is a reflection of this study and I admit that I am using wording from the book.)

Section 1: Surprisingly Satisfied

Lord, Thank You for knowing just what I need at just the right time.  This study is just what I have been looking for – guidance on what you expect of me as a woman and a mother. I am faced with so much conflicting advice every day, even from women in the church that it is sometimes difficult to pick out what You truly expect of me.

I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content – whether well-fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me. Phil 4:11-13

Please help me to be content like Paul no matter what circumstances I am in. You have shown me what it is like to have a lot and feel like I have so little and You have shown me what it is like to have so little and to feel as though I have an overabundance. I praise You for this! Thank You for the proof that You have provided me with that I can do anything as long as I look to You. This includes Your body of believers whom You use to complete Your work.

Lord, I praise You for leading me to contentment over the last two years. I know that You still have a lot of work to do in my heart before I am a “woman of substance because [I am] a woman of satisfaction, a woman who’s chosen contentment over displeasure”. You have made me realize that with the path You have taken me down I could have chosen a much different outlook on life. I could have chosen to be bitter and resentful, instead, you helped me to rely on You, to forgive, to be grateful for what You have provided.

Lord, I ask for Your help to “unleashing a flood of joy into [my heart], the kind that rages within no matter what is raging without”. Today I had an opportunity to rage without and instead You guided me to be flooded with joy, forgiveness and peace. I thank You for allowing me to know what this is like. I also know that I do not react like this at all times, but pray that You will help me to listen to You and be led by You in moments when I may not want to be content.

Luke 6:38 Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full – pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.

Lord, I am so undeserving of receiving anything in return from You, and yet You give me more than I can even imagine. More than I gave in the first place. I love the illustration in this study of pressing down the flour and putting more in, over and over. This is one of the first things I learned about baking is that you never press down the flour because it is nearly impossible to fill all of the voids in the measuring cup. Plus you’ll end up with very dense bread! I thank You that you press down and fill the cup over and over until it is overflowing. I look forward to You changing my heart so that I don’t even think about what I have to give, but can just give freely, confident that I will never lack anything – even “filling [me] back up with more than [I] had to begin with”.

I praise You, Lord, that I can help others with complete contentment and willingness as long as You approve. Help me to be able to discern when you want me to be involved and when I need to step back. Lord, I desire for You to help me to be able to respond to You to serve others with complete satisfaction and confidence even when it seems irrational and impossible to others – and even myself.

Lord, You know that I have been discontent in the past about my desires that I felt You had not fulfilled. I thank You for working in my heart to realize the idolatry that my desires had created. Lord, I know that at times my desires continue to want to become idols in my life. Please change my heart and guide me so that my desires do not become idols and I worship nothing and nobody over you. Help me to balance my desires so that I have a “genuine gratitude for what the day brings all the while maintain[ing] a controlled anticipation for what tomorrow may offer”. I know that I cannot accomplish this on my own. I need You, Lord. There is no other way.

I praise You that You are always there. That You always know what I need even when I don’t. Are patient with me even when You get to the point when You need to yell at me. That You love me unconditionally. That I am forgiven because of You and nothing that I have done or can do. That You have taught me how to forgive others.

Section 2: Purposefully Feminine

When I began reading this section almost two months ago I was very excited. When I began to write a reflection I began to realize I needed more information. I went to scripture and old sermons I had listened to. As I began to draft a reflection I started to avoid actually sitting at the computer to write it, but would make excuses to think about what I was going to write in my head. Recently I realized that I was/am afraid of what God was telling me…

(J = ex-husband, L = child)

Lord, thank you for making me a woman in your image. You know the struggles I have had trying to figure out what you expect of me as a woman, as a mother, and formerly as a wife – and not necessarily what this world expects of me. All too often I get confused about what your truth is and when the world is trying to sneak in. Thank you for this study that points to your truth and points out some of the ideals of the world that women often fall under. Please help me to be “a Christian woman – who proudly wears the badge of womanhood given by [you]…” and who goes against everything that is not of you because I am fully confident in you, my Father.

Lord, thank you for clarifying through this study that you made women to be complex, for it is a comfort to know that I am intended to be complex: “You, God’s woman, are designed both strong and vulnerable. Powerful yet tender. More than able yet willing to yield. You are smart, wise, capable, equal in worth, and secure in yourself as you relate to others yet content in your God-given role. You are a paradox – a potent mixture that surprises with your controlled energy, who inspires and entices by our mysterious grace, whose lifestyle causes others to reconsider and refocus their presuppositions, drawing them toward the God who makes a woman so rich, and captivating.”

I praise you for making me strong yet vulnerable so that I need to depend on you, for teaching me that I am powerful yet tender through trying to raise a child and even going through a divorce, that I am more than willing/able to do things but am able to step back and let those you have appointed lead. Lord, please teach me what this mysterious grace is – I’m not sure I get that one. Lord, help me to be more confident in my role you have given me when I relate to others. Let them see you when I interact with them on any level so that they are drawn to you. Lord, I pray that my conduct not be superficial, but that I will have the imperishable beauty of a gentle spirit.

1 Peter 3:1-2 Likewise, wives, be subject to you own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Thank you for the opportunity to learn submission through marriage, Lord. Lord, I need your help here as you know that even though I only think of J as another human being that you have created, I feel like a failure that he was not won by my conduct or prayer. I know that I did not always submit perfectly or with a happy heart, but I know that I submitted to the point where I began to turn my back on you for the sake of the expectations of J who did not love you and therefore did not love me as Christ loves the church. He would not have died for me and he would not have taken my mistakes upon himself so that I would be blameless before you. He did not love me more than he loved himself or his career. Thank you for showing me how to love as a servant, to love when I am not loved in return, when I am not valued, to give my time, my dreams for those of another.  I thank you for loving L and me and breaking us away from that life even though at the same time I am still confused since you hate divorce. I pray that you will teach J to love his next wife as you intend.

Lord, please take away the insecurities I have from having an ex-husband who did not love me. You know that I get so anxious when things are not tidy and clean – sometimes to the point of tears – because of letting myself believe the lies I was told. Help me to look to you in these times of anxiety. I praise you for breaking me free from most of the lies about my appearance. Lord, I praise you that I can now be comfortable wearing glasses in public again (still struggle a little there at times), that I don’t have a meltdown when I pick out clothes to wear in public or even around the house, that I’m not afraid to go into a store and pick out clothes and buy the items I like.

Lord, I have no idea what you have planned for us, but am grateful that you are in control. I am grateful that you have been in control this whole time. You know that my heart desires a family with a man who loves you and will love me and L, but I don’t know if that is part of your plans. Please help me to be content whether you plan for me to be a wife again, have more children or not. Help me to be satisfied in you in all circumstances.

I praise you for pointing out the woman at the well, Lord. This woman that Jesus was not even supposed to talk to just because she was a woman. He spoke to her with love and respect, like she was valuable and knowledgeable. This was a woman who felt no worth because she had had four husbands and was living with a fifth who was not her husband. She was full of shame. I know because I have felt this same shame and embarrassment about being divorced, about having a husband that didn’t want me. Yet Jesus loved her in spite of this. She was still worthy of salvation. He entrusted her with his message. Lord, thank you for forgiving me of my faults, for being patient with me over and over again. Thank you for loving me as no other could ever love me. Thank you for giving me a purpose and value. Lord, I praise you for your grace that I do not deserve. Lord, I ask for your help to feel worthy as you saw this woman – worthy not only of your love, but of anyone who may love me at some point. You know this is something I have been struggling with even though I didn’t realize it. It is why I had such a hard time with this section. It is why I am afraid. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ then I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak I am strong. 2 Cor 12:9-10 Help me to boast in my weaknesses because you know that I dwell on them instead. Help me to glorify you through trials and truly find them to be blessings as you keep showing me they are.  Fill me with your spirit so that I am strong in you when I am weak.

Section 3: Authentically Me

This section in The Resolution for Women has been the most difficult for me so far. I have been reflecting (at times avoiding) it for three months now. I has actually been painful to know how much I ignored God during my marriage, how many of the gifts He gave me I put aside, the child-like joy and wonder and curiosity that had made me me at one point had been forgotten. One exercise had me ask people how they saw me so that my eyes would be opened to things I didn’t realize about myself. It worked. It also reminded me of some of the gifts that I wasn’t using – and that hurt so much to know that I did not appreciate something God had given me. Another reason it has taken so long to reflect on this section is that I am afraid and embarrassed, even as I write this, about some of the things I have to face about myself so that God an really use me. 

Thank you for showing me that I let little things in my life become so big that they control how I think about myself and how I react instead of remembering Your Word. I am sorry, Lord. I am sorry for letting other’s reactions to me being divorced control how I feel about myself. I actually understand these judgments because I used to have them as well. Thank you for bringing this to my attention and continually helping me to work through this issue. Lord, I am sorry for not taking care of myself. My body is a gift from You and I constantly feed it things that I shouldn’t. I am constantly making excuses about why I can’t exercise even a little bit even though I love to exercise. Help me to figure out how to eat better and what exercise fits into the day and when. While I am not greatly overweight, I am overweight. I have neglected Your temple and I am sorry. I need Your help to get on track and stay on track. I have let the fact that I am a single mother define me. I am a single parent. So? I still do everything I did as a parent when I was married, but I have to admit that it’s actually less stressful. It really is. I get overwhelmed at times, but it’s just us. No big deal. It’s been just us since L was born, we just no longer need to take into account the random appearance and needs of a third person. Thank you for helping me realize this. I still pray for Your help in raising L to be a strong, Christian man who knows and accepts his role in the body of Christ, the family and society. Lord, I have let the way men have treated me in the past dictate how I feel about myself and define my worth. I praise You for helping me see that You created me because You have a plan for me. Because You created me I am precious and glorious. Because You have a plan for me I am valuable. Thank you for choosing me, Lord (John 15:16).

You made me – me – on purpose, and You have put me where I am, in the situation I am in for a reason. You have used my suffering for Your benefit and I am so grateful for that. My heart is overjoyed with the love You have shown me. I can’t imagine it being 4-7 years from now and still heartbroken over the divorce, beating myself up because it must have been my fault, something must be wrong with me, still bitter with J and Z. I see many families in this situation. I pray for them as well, that they will open their hearts to You and let You set them free. Lord, I know that You have selected the soil where I am presently growing. I praise You that every season and weather [I] experience has…to pass through [Your] fingers before coming in contact with me. That You have designed my surroundings with the right conditions to allow my unique gifts and abilities to reach their maximum potential. I praise You that I am Your holy vessel set aside for Your use when You need me and my special gifts.

I am sorry for not realizing all of the gifts You have given me, putting them aside and ignoring them at times. Thank you for helping me to see some of my gifts more clearly and giving me the opportunity to see some of them for the first time and opportunities to use them all even when I do not realize. Lord, I list below the gifts and qualities people pointed out that I have. I pray that You will help me to develop them and use them for Your will:

• Wisdom
• Teaching
• Compassion, Not afraid to reach out to others (sometimes this is a weakness because I don’t know when to step back)
• Love
• Science/Technology
• Generally not afraid to try something new
• Music – Lord, I played at church for the first time in a long time and it was wonderful! I didn’t sound as I know I can sound, but You helped me through my nervousness and people really seemed to appreciate this gift. Lord, I thank You that this is a way You have always communicated with me even before I really knew You.
• Quiet yet confident
• Good-natured
• Sparkle and shine, Eternally effervescent – I LOVE this, Lord! I have been told I am happy over the years, but eternally effervescent is a new one and it just makes me overjoyed to think someone sees that in me
• Sense of humor, God-given dorky playfulness – Yes! It is coming back! Thank you, Lord!
• Wonderful mother, Love for child(ren)
• Godly Christian woman who is constantly growing, Spiritually driven, Hope and trust in the Lord, Sustained by God – this is something I am constantly questioning, I think You have me do this on purpose though to make sure my motives are for You and nowhere else
• Good listener – Really? I had no idea. I actually thought this was a weakness!
• Good friend
• Kind, Friendly, Caring
• Beautiful – You know that I have a hard time seeing this in myself
• Flexible/patient
• Smile easily
• Tremendous strength – Thank you for teaching me what people are referring to here. I had such a hard time accepting this for a long time.
• Grace
• Humility
• Unselfishness
• Well-rounded

Help me to better-use the gifts that You have given me. Please forgive me for not even realizing I had some of them.

Help me to do my part. Help me to be authentically me, the way You created me, the way You need me to be to best use me, because I am valuable in Your plan and You are using me even when I don’t realize it to help others. Help me to step up to what You called me to do. Help me to trust You and Your plan. Help me to encourage others and let them see You in me. Let there be no doubt in their mind that I am Your child.

“Help me to accept and celebrate my uniqueness and…esteem and encourage the distinctions I admire in others.”

Thank you for guiding me through this section, convicting me because You love me, helping me to better see who I am through Your eyes, to learn things about myself I did not know before. I praise You for using me in the lives of others whether I know it or not. I pray that with Your help I will continue to become the woman You want me to be, appreciate that woman and that You will continue to use me in Your plan.

Section 4: Faithfully His

Lord, I pray that I will never again be lost within this world so that I cannot be singled out as Yours in a crowd. You deserve so much more. Fix my thoughts on You, Jesus. I ask for Your help to bend my will to Yours so that I will lean into You and listen for Your voice. I ask that every day and especially in the face of adversity I look to You and seek guidance in Your Word and through prayer. I praise You that ultimately I answer to You and not to earthly authority. I thank you that I can live with heaven in view and Your whisper in my soul. I am grateful that I am in this world, but I and not of this world. You have saved me from being controlled by this world and from being consumed by this world.

Thank you for reminding me that in order to be faithful I do not have to be perfect, I have to be persistent and purposeful. Lord, Help me to stand firm in my beliefs in You. Help me to stand true to You especially when is difficult. Help me adjust my life to follow Your standards. I know that all that I go through will be used for Your plan, both good and bad, easy and difficult. You have proven Yourself faithful and loving to me, help me to be faithful to You as well.

As You demonstrated, Jesus, help me to prove my faithfulness day by day, living through difficulties and seeking You, surrendering my will to Yours, offering prayers, remaining committed to Your purpose no matter my human desire. Guide my feet, my hands, my mind, my heart, my soul especially when it doesn’t make sense to this world. For You, I desire to be a mystery to this world, to be different, to be uncharacteristic for I lack nothing in You.

I praise You for providing Your Word to restore me. I praise You that Your Word calls to me and I yearn to spend time with You. I am grateful that You show me who You are and Your love, promise and faithfulness. I praise You that Your Word can uncover my faults, but draw me to You for restoration, redemption and blessings of obedience. Because I cannot be faithful to You by my own doing I praise You that You have provided faithfulness as a fruit of Your Spirit (Gal 5:22), and that Your Spirit and Your Word work together to guide me. I thank You for providing me with a reminder of Your consistency, Your plan, of who I am in You, why I am here and who I belong to.

Section 5: My Best

Lord, help me to give You the best of every moment of every day and not what is left over at the end of it. Forgive me for giving You my leftovers – and sometimes nothing at all. Help me to prayerfully and thoughtfully consider Your plans for me in everything I do, every decision I make.

Thank You for helping me to clean up my schedule some over the past few months and helping me to learn Your priorities for me right now in this season. Thank you for helping me to figure out some of my desires or pleasures that need to be set aside at the moment so that I can focus on the goals You have for me at this time (Haggai 1:2-4). It has released a lot of pressure to not feel like I have to say yes to everything, like I am always tired from trying to do everything but feeling like I haven’t done anything, or that I haven’t done anything well but just enough to get by.  I love the quote You gave me in this section:

“…you cannot do a thousand things to the glory of God but you can do one or two.”

You have not called me to do the same things as everyone else in the church so I don’t need to do everything. You have called me for my own mission that is not the same as the other women in the church.  No matter how hard I try, I will not be able to accomplish something that You have charged someone else to accomplish as they cannot accomplish what You have charged me with. Help me to step forward in faith to glorify You. Let me not hesitate. Let me go forth and glorify You using all of my gifts, skills, talents and abilities. Help me to never lose sight of You so that I have the strength and courage to keep going when I feel I can’t.

Lord, one thing I have a really hard time with is taking time to relax and rejuvenate. This is some take time for myself that You would take my guilt away. I tend to fold the laundry while I watch a movie as I feel lazy just watching a movie. I convince myself not to relax in the bath with a book after L has gone to sleep, or even when he is not here, because there are so many other things I should do instead. Help me to take that bath, just because, and not feel guilty. Help me to think about time to myself as a “break for my life”.  Help me to realize that taking care of myself is just as important, if not more important than taking care of others because I cannot give You or them my best if I am worn or I’m already thinking about the next thing I need to take care of.

We are still struggling through this section as life never stays the same. L is now getting up earlier because of the earlier sunrise. I will need to adjust my schedule to accommodate that as now I don’t have quiet time with You in the morning. Show me where our time together fits in during the day now.  Fill every part of my being with Your Spirit. Renew me, Lord. Point out when I am following my own way and point me along Your path, for Your path is perfect.

Section 6: My Blessing

Jesus – the only true know-it-all ever to walk the earth, who legitimately had no good reason for listening to a single word from anyone – shows on many occasions to stop, to wait, to listen, to give attention to another before speaking Himself, even when the other person was misinformed or even spouting blasphemy.

Lord, thank you for always giving me Your full attention and concern. You never have to run off to something more important or just something You feel You need to do before we can finish our conversation. Please help me to love others in this way. Help me to love the person in front of me and give them the time and attention they need at that moment without worrying about what I had planned on doing next. It will get done. You have blessed me tremendously with practicing this with L. Our quality time together is now even better. All computers are off and notifications on my phone are disabled while we spend time together with no worries about how long we’ve been at the playground and that it is five minutes past dinner time, something I used to worry about. Yes, we do have times when we do have to rush as the world requires us to be to school or work on time, but I can tell that even L is enjoying and benefiting from this time together. Thank you for teaching me this lesson and help me to extend it to others who cross my path. I know that I have benefited from this attention in the past and wish to extend it to others.

Help me to follow Your example. Help me to listen and to respond with You wisdom and love – and to know when not to respond at all. Help me to reveal wisdom in silence when appropriate. You have taught me how to do this most of the time with J, but I still struggle every day with different people and in different situations. Help me to hold my tongue and be sensible (there are so many Proverbs about this!). When will I learn? Even though others feel I am patient and truly listening, at times I know where my heart and mind really are. I am grateful that You are patient with me, have not given up on me and continue to guide me and change me in this area.

Instead, Lord, continue to help me to practice to look people in the eye, lean in – and listen. Truly listen as You listen. Help me to bless that other person with something so simple as the time You have blessed me with and attention. Let me gather all of the information needed before reacting or giving advice. Let Your Spirit give me wisdom when I speak for what comes out of my mouth flows from my heart (Luke 6:45).

Help me to store up good treasures so that my heart pours out good (Luke 6:45). Let me soak in Your Word and Your Truth. Let these be my treasures. Empty me and fill me with You. Let me soak up so much of You that You can’t help but overflow from me. Flow out of every part of my being. Let my conversations be filled with Your wisdom, kindness, humility, grace and love.

Help me to love because You loved me first (1 John  4:19).

Section 7: My Forgiveness

“The entirety of your life is made up of two percentages. Ten percent is what happens to you. Ninety percent is how you react to what happens.” (The Resolution)

 This section has given me more to think about than I realized it would. First, let me thank you for Your sacrifice, of being belittled, beaten, laughed at, made to carry that heavy cross through a city with everyone watching and jeering, yelling for Your death while You were exhausted, bloody and wounded with a crown of thorns digging into Your head, nailed to that cross and punished as one of the worst offenders of society, watching others divide Your belongings before You were even dead, defeated death, returned to earth and ascended into heaven – all the while praying for forgiveness for every single person who did not believe and who cursed You and hurt You…never once fighting back (John 18 – Acts 1:11). The whole time keeping Your Father’s plans in focus.

When I first read this section in the study I asked You to reveal to me where I was not forgiving anyone and also where I have judged, hurt or wronged others in any way so that I can reconcile with them. As the study explains, having internal injuries without realizing it is like having unforgiveness. We bury it beneath external behavior and stay busy and help others so we don’t have to think about it instead of dealing with our own hearts. Eventually that internal injury will overcome us. I have learned this from experience and do not want to go back there, Lord. I do not want to plant “roots of bitterness” (Hebrews 12:15), which grow to control me ever again. Why should I hold grudges against others when You have so freely forgiven me?

²³ For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. ²⁴ Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. ²⁵ For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, ²⁶ for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus. (Romans 3:23-26)

With our move we now live close to one of J’s old coworkers, which I knew and didn’t think much of. I assumed we would see her at some point. Though she didn’t see me drive by, I saw her and boy did You convict me of unforgiveness that I didn’t even realize I was holding onto. I have been hiding anger for people who knew what was going on with J and Z but didn’t say anything; those who spent time with them together and also spent time with us…with our family…in our home…at our table…and never said a word. Jesus, if You can help me to forgive J and Z, You can help me to forgive these people as well. People who have not admitted their role but may not recognize it either. Help me to give every tiny, little ounce of anger to You. Help me to forgive them of any part, whether conscious or not, imagined or real, they had in hiding and encouraging what was happening between J and Z while we were still married. I give them to You. Forgive them. Bless them. Bring their hearts to You. Help me to push that delete button until it is all gone (“I will forgive their wrongdoing and never again remember their sin.” (Jeremiah 31:34)). Thank you for giving me Your Spirit to help in this battle (Then he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven. If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” (John 20:22-23)). I praise You that through You I can move forward without dragging my past along with me. It will still be there, but it will not control me.

And who else do You convict me of not forgiving? Myself. Not as often as in the past, but some people’s comments and reactions make me feel ashamed of being divorced and L not having a father at home. You know that I scoured Your Word, sought help from leadership within the church, and Christian counseling. You know the internal struggle that I went through. You know the failure I felt for not being able to lead my husband to You (1 Corinthians 7:16) and by having the marriage end in divorce as You “hate” divorce. But Paul states that if a spouse isn’t a believer [and] insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace. (1 Corinthians 7:15). The truth that You know is all that matters. As for L not having a father at home…he has a relationship with J and You will make sure he receives the training he needs to grow in Your ways. You have a plan. I praise You that, with Your help, I no longer have to use the delete button on these nearly as often as I used to.

The study says it well, it is easier to forgive others (which is a miracle in itself) but it is much more difficult to forgive ourselves. Not forgiving myself makes Your death inadequate and your forgiveness not enough. Wow! While I am to recognize my sin I am to bring it to You and let it produce repentance – a change of heart that can only come from You (2 Corinthians 7:10). I can’t do it on my own, but You have already done it for me. You have already forgiven me.

He forgave all our sins. He cancelled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. (Colossians 2:13-14)

I ask for Your continued help in learning how to have a heart that is not wounded (a healed scar, but not a wound to keep nursing) as it can never fully be open to love or receive love. Help me not to ever hold onto wounds as protection against further wounds as it will only harden my heart. Lord, help me to continue to learn to forgive and ask forgiveness, as I will need to forgive and be forgiven again. Thank you for helping me not to hold grudges and have the option and ability to release the person(s), situation, and outcome to You. I thank you that it is not my job to punish, but Yours and that Your timing and Your way is so much better than mine. I praise you that all I need to do is pray for Your help to forgive and be forgiven. I praise you that my “sins [were] like scarlet, [but] they [are now] white as snow” (Isaiah 1:18) because of You. I can’t describe how much I love that picture. Thank you, Lord.